Friday, February 13, 2009

Getting What we Need, instead of what we Want

Happy Valentine's Day!

Daughter: "I am SO AGGRAVAGATED!!!!!" (pronounced: "Uh-GRAV-Uh-Gated)

Me: "What?"

Daughter: "That BOY so AGGRAVAGATED me!"

Me: "What is that word you're saying?"

Daughter: "AGGRAVAGATED! He made me SO angry!"

Me: "Oh, he aggravated you? How did he do that?"

Daughter: "He told me that I couldn't do something in swimming, because 'I was just a girl!'"

Me: "What did you say?"

Daughter: "Well, it probably wasn't nice to say, but I said, "Well, YOU are JUST a BOY!"

Indeed, just a boy. Went on another field trip with my daughter's class yesterday. As always, I am strongly reminded that boys and girls are very different animals. The girls are (for the most part) quieter, and so obviously more mature than the boys. At times, the girls contemptuously look at the boys like they are something icky to be scraped off of the bottom of their shoes. Sometimes, I find myself agreeing. :)

Two of the boys were involved in a lively conversational exchange that included the phrase, "Your Momma is so Stupid."

One boy asked his classmate, "Give me some of that 'puppy chow crap.'" When I asked him about his unfortunate word choice, he asked me, "Should I say 'puppy chow poop' instead?"
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Amusingly enough, early in my pregnancy, I dreamed of having a son. Because of my poor relationship with my mother, growing up and beyond, I thought that I wasn't capable of creating a decent mother-daughter relationship. Therefore, I thought that a son might be the easier of the two options.

After I found out at my 5 month amniocentesis test that I was having a girl, I was scared, but elated. My entire train of thought changed. Perhaps God was giving me an opportunity to heal myself. I was getting another chance to have a good mother-daughter relationship. I could become the Mom to my own daughter, that I always wanted to have as a girl then, and as a grown woman now.

It's funny. We pray for what we believe that we want and desire. God always answers prayers, but sometimes the answer is "No." I thought that I wanted to have a son, but God saw that what I really NEEDED was to have a daughter.

With little mothering experience to draw upon, I always had a vision of the kind of mom that I wanted to be. In addition, my sweet, big-hearted daughter has taught me how to be a good mom to her. Her love has healed the broken little girl inside of me.

You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes well you might find
You get what you need
-- Rolling Stones

I hope that you get what you need in your own life. Happy Love Day!

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